Amanda Lee, GPC Joint Enrollment Student, Fall 2006

Wedding Woes

Imagine your ideal wedding and honeymoon. Is it small with only close friends and family? How about large with everyone you know in attendance? Regardless of the specifics, the most important criterion is that everything runs smoothly and your entire experience is perfect. However, perfection was not a word my father used when he regaled the story of the day he married my mother and their subsequent honeymoon.

On the hot, summer day of August 7, 1987, my parents were married in a quaint, white church in Ruston, Louisiana. The wedding ceremony went over smoothly with only one small glitch. The preacher asked my father if he took Peggy (not Penny) to be his wife, and my father claims that he replied with “I don’t know. Where’s Peggy?” After vows had been exchanged and “I dos,” had been said, the wedding party spilled out of the church and made its way to the reception. Once again, the reception went without any mishaps. It was when the party ended that my parents’ real “fun” began. With great embarrassment, my mom and dad realized that, in all the wedding excitement, they had left their plane tickets for their honeymoon at the church. Much to their dismay, they found the church locked when they returned. My father’s co-worker and best friend, Monty, had to climb into the church through a tiny open window in order to find the tickets and save the day. Finally, my parents were ready to fly away to Mexico for their romantic honeymoon, but first, they had to find their car.

As a wedding prank, my father’s fellow Ruston Police Officers decorated my parents’ tiny, red, 1982 Honda Accord with paint and the ever-popular toilet paper streamers, but the true surprise was waiting inside. My dad’s mischievous friends dumped oodles of gold glitter into the Honda’s air conditioning vents and set the controls at full blast. When my father turned on the engine, he and my mother were blasted with a shimmering surprise. After being on the road for an hour or so, my parents stopped at a gas station where my dad proceeded to rid the vehicle of its shiny coat of glitter, but after only five minutes of being back on the road, my mother pulled down her sun visor to look in the mirror on its underside and was doused with even more glitter. Needless to say, my father was less than pleased. Unfortunately, they had bigger things than specks of glitter to look out for.

Following the tradition for when an officer gets married, my dad’s friends contacted the Louisiana State patrol. They were given a description of the vehicle my parents were driving in, a description of my parents, the license plate number of their car, and all other information needed to apprehend them. My father, fully aware of this tradition, cleverly avoided all major highways and took back roads to get to the airport. Unfortunately, they were traveling from Ruston, Louisiana to Dallas, Texas to catch their flight, and what should have been only a four hour drive took much, much longer. To add to this predicament, my mom and dad had to make this journey without the luxury of air conditioning in order to avoid the glitter still lurking within the vents.

Tired, hot, sticky, and with their dark brown hair speckled with gold glitter, my parents arrived at a motel just outside of Dallas. The next morning, they awoke and realized that my mother, who was responsible for packing all of their luggage into the car, had forgotten to pack my father’s suitcase. All he had with him were socks, underwear, and t-shirts, and because it was a Sunday morning, nothing but an obscure outlet store was open. My father described the apparel he found at that store as “old men clothes.” His purchases included baby blue and gray slacks and plaid shirts. My dad was finally ready to begin his honeymoon in style.

Cutting it close, my parents arrived at the airport in time to catch their flight. They were traveling by way of AirMexicana Airlines. This was my father’s first time flying. He admitted to me that he was slightly nervous, and he also explained to me how it wasn’t very comforting when the pilot spoke over the intercom because he spoke only in Spanish, and my dad couldn’t understand the majority of what he said. My father was relieved when the plane touched down smoothly at the tiny Mexican airport. All that my parents had to do was collect their luggage, and then they could leave all the previous frustrations behind them and simply enjoy their honeymoon. However, there was one last surprised to be had.

My mother and father waited patiently for their luggage with the other passengers from their flight. Many of the people there were also couples who were traveling to Mexico for their honeymoon. Everyone could hear the airline workers tossing suitcases onto the carousel from the other side of the wall. The couples all stood around watching the old, rickety, manual conveyer belt, but as they watched, they noticed that random socks and underwear were scattered among the incoming suitcases. Eventually, and much to his embarrassment, my dad’s suitcase came down the line wide open and with its contents spread out for everyone to see. My father then proceeded to tell me how all the couples rushed around helping my parents gather my father’s displaced articles of clothing.

Luckily for my mother, my father has a strong sense of humor. While many of the obstacles my parents had to deal with on their “perfect” day would have severely upset many other people, my father was able to take it in stride. Looking back now, my father laughs at the pictures of himself in his hideous plaid shirt and gray pants, and I believe that both he and my mother are grateful for the amusing memories that have made their wedding and honeymoon stand out from any other couple’s special day.